Tuesday, February 26, 2013

... its Ok if its about me!

... It was 100 degrees in the shade ... if I could find some. 
I had 3 empty bottles of water in my backpack. There was a rising slope in front of me going uphill for 2 miles, at an incline of about 50 degrees, before it reached the top. It had been dry since late spring, almost 6 months now, therefore every twig or branch that I tried to hold on to, promptly snapped in my hands and crumbled. There were wide cracks in the dust laden path. Deer droppings, cow patties, and raccoon and fox do dos, all dried up... I couldn't see any animals but there was constant rustling in the bushes, lizards in the cracks and ants... I laughed inwardly comparing my survival skills with them. This was their territory, their home and I was far removed from mine.

I climbed another 50 feet and succumbed to hyper-ventilation and dust induced wheezing. I couldn't go on. The sun, the mighty ball of fire - against which, at that moment, I could only hold a grudge - it had to go down. I needed shade because I couldn't crawl into a crack, or scurry into a hole. I needed water because I cannot sniff out the moist spots in the ground let alone find a way to effectively suck on them. I needed my gadgets. Cell phone service, I needed cell phone service; I needed a water fountain; I needed a bed… my thinking became random. A meal, a water bottle, a banana, a hard candy, a person … I needed to be air lifted to civilization OR if I could just turn into an ant… shorter life span but simpler survival opportunities. 

Oops! Time to slap myself. Time to make a choice. Time to remember, realize and honor the being I am, a thinking being, probably the only one … yet. Not an ant, nor a lizard, nor am I a bird in the bush. I am different. I need more because I’m worth more. I am a human and I have willingly taken up the challenge to remain one. To create my own reality by creating societies around people and philosophies around societies. I delve in a realm of resource and invention running parallel to relationships. I go beyond survival to make and break rules which I create, to dive into the depths of every challenge, to seek, listen, learn and surface with an answer which addresses my entity as the one ... maybe the only one… who can think. I do not need to adapt because I can invent. I do not need to hide because I can confront. I do not need to rest because I can reform and reconstruct. Because my mind will neither give up nor conform, because I have a direction, a way to a goal, though I laugh again, knowing that an end will only be another beginning … and that is my peace. 

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